Marriage

No denying its probably the most intense life subject, however, it's not as complicated as it could be. Well, it comes to mind that everything in life experiences the laws of nature which sometimes are based on principles that would forever be true.

Fact 1

Both partners have to sacrifice (Have to quit some things, establish some immovable and some common ground in general.

Fact 2

The Husband must learn to remain husband and wife must learn to remain wife. (this is rather a very important one in a generation of equality of gender, egoism, feminism and globalization at the expense of morality and upheld cultures. A time where women are so into proving they can do better at men's jobs rather than doing the things women were created specifically to do. Thereby, losing their uniqueness. Have you even thought of the neck asking to take the role of the Head and vice versa. But for one second, think of this also - the head never contradicts the neck when its time to move. Seems to me head will be fine if it's remains head and in sync with the neck and of course, that goes for the neck. In sync, there is always a functional body dynasty.

                         

Fact 3: Avoid neutral poles

Funny how only the human can't properly section good and bad, healthy and unhealthy, white and black, right and wrong. Of course, these have evolved since human are the most undisciplined of the animal kingdom. In relationships, these neutral poles are the simile unharming... Like keeping any form of relationship your partner is not fully aware of or with former partner still having interest in you or just forgetting to say thank you or sorry at the moment when it counts the most. Of course, it's a long list goes on into neglecting important things that your partner regard has important; birthday, anniversary, dinner hangout and so on. Basically, those unharming and not deliberate things looking neutral to either partner. Neutral poles are the quickest to introduce distrust in relationships; from experts, we know that relationship where trust is, question is like flying with one wing.

Fact 4: Learn and listen

These are vital component that must be cultivated and never neglected. The danger is that they sound simple but they are actually the hardest. 

Most problems that spring up in a relationship have a root of been mentioned once or twice before. Either by the spoken words or act to reflect a disagreement or dislike of its appearance. Challenges, difference and believes germinates into problems when the component LISTEN and LEARNING are missing or disregarded. Depending on the partners or personality, reaction takes place or respond in some case. Always get your learning and listening components intact.

Fact 5: Respect

So sensitive yet underestimated in a relationship. The Couple needs to feel their spouse value them with the highest possible esteem. For some reason, human is built to feel a better sense of themselves when they are surrounded by loved one. However, the greatest kind of support is the one that comes from your family/ spouse or colleagues (depending on the context). If this support and respect is found missing in a relationship, it could be very devastating on the partners. Value and support each other. Just a note of warning, some personality types might need more or this than some other, we believe if component learning is functional, partners would notice their spouses earlier and better thereby, providing the ego boost needed to make the journey rosy and jolly. 

Fact 6: Love languages

Love is never enough! Yes,  but love is the starting ingredient. Whether its an arranged partnership/relationship or some phenomenal attraction, it must be noticed that there would be tough days and moments. A moment where you have to look at the situation of things and all you have is remaining faithful to your decision to love this person timelessly and truly, your commitment to stay and do all that has to be done, and your attitude to things- either to see a bottle as half filled(going to be filled someday soon) or half empty(going to be empty someday soon).

At this point, we dare to say Never forget to communicate in a "Native Language".

Everyone has a love language; some have more than one some have "all". However, it's more than important that we never forget to communicate in known languages.

There are 5 love languages, find your partner's and speak it well.

1- Words of affirmation

2- Touch

3- Gift

4- Help and time together

5-  Acts of service

Learn it, speak it and if the only way to keep the relationship working fine is to speak to each other from time to time... Please don't hold back. 

Please comment on this topic to share your views too

 

A lot of failed marriages have been happening recently because of the many mistakes of the way people are getting married recently, and one of those ways is Spouse recommendations by parents. Our parents do know best, no doubt about that, and a lot of their knowledge has brought us all to our adulthood, and we live by their code, but when you are more than 25 years of age, and possibly know left from right or blue from blue-black, then i guess you should be able to make the decisions about who you are going to spend your life with.

                   

In the 90s, our grandparents had helped our parents to meet, they introduced them to themselves, and after 1+1, you were one of their results, and even till date, our parents are still together, and still believe in true love, it works for them, but does that mean it will work for you in the time and age? 70% NO, and if you are lucky, you get 30% and by good statistics that is not a good result.

When you are getting to your marriage age, 23 for girls if you done with your first degree, and probably 25years for boys, this is when your parents will want to know what is the next thing, if you sound not so sure about your next step, you will get a hint like "Have you seen Camella? she is looking good nowadays, you should hang out"

This is the yellow light for "Get Ready For Marriage". Either you go or not, your parents will soon start letting you know why you should get married, and also why you should marry the lady they talked about to you. If you tell them you have a girlfriend, and they don't know her, they might wave her off, and let you know the girl they recommended (Camella) is the right girl for you.

A lot of girls have fallen into the "spouse recommendations by parents" and a lot of them, I had came across are now a single mom. They will break-up with a dude they had spent  more than 2 years knowing, only to be with a guy they meet in less than a week, and the other week, they are talking about getting married/Marriage. I also noticed that all these ladies say the same thing, and the  phrase they all come up with is, "I want to make my family happy" that is a good phrase, but what happens to you been happy? This is not advising you to form a rebel against your parents, but for the first time, your parents might need education on the current trend of what is happening in the outside world.

It is the 2000s where girls go to school with their school uniform and party clothes, it is a year boys/girls will use Young thug and Miley Cyrus as role models, and when everyday is like a vacation from school, most of their parents have no idea, because when they are back at home, they turn to the saints their parents want to see, that is the same saints your papa and mama are seeing and will recommend such person to you for marriage.

Never marry for any other reasons if it is not true love/happiness, any other reasons will soon fade out, and you might be single again either for the rest of your life or for another long time. Don't get married to a man or a woman because your parents wants a relationship with the in-law to boost their businesses, that is your parent's selfish desire, don't buy into it. When it comes to getting married, for the first time in your entire life, your happiness comes first.

Are Spouse Recommendations By Parents always wrong? No, because some of us are often faced with the problem of finding the right spouse in life, maybe we busy, or we just keep falling into the wrong person and years are going past us, then our parents will come forward and introduce a nice guy/girl for you, someone they probably have given their own little quiz/exams while you were not there, and your parents had finalized she is the right person and will recommend to you. In a situation like this, the best thing to do is just play along, meet whoever you have been asked to meet, since you have been failing yourself anyway, this might work out, because now, the lady in question don't want to disappoint your folks, and trust me on this one, your parents won't pick just anybody for you, they probably have done a lot of "James Bond 007" type of investigations you don't know about.

The best thing to do is even when you get the girl with this format, it is still a good thing to get closer and get to know her, and confirm that she fits to most of your good side and you can live with what you got at the moment. Because she is coming from your parents does not give her an automatic visa to marriage with you, both of you should be satisfied with one another, and go for it.

So, to finalise the whole write-up, i hope you understand both sides of the coin in this situation, don't drop your boyfriend/girlfriend because you want to make your parents happy and expand their business. You must know that the lady you marry now is the final touches to the final design of the future you had always wanted, what colour would you want it to be? Do you want it to be all covered in dirts? or well done with amazing colours and add new features?. The ball is in your court, and i wish you good luck

Post your commens below for questions or addition to this topic.

Liam Andrew for Doy News

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Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose

Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose might be working things out their marriage once again. The couple, who had been separated for a while now for undisclosed reasons, had a son, Sebastian. The couple are in court recently on the custody of their little boy and had thrown words at each other at every opportunity.

                       Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose

But according to TMZ, this might change soon after Wiz Khalifa released a song for Fast and Furious 7 to honour Paul Walker. In the song lyrics, Wiz Khalifa said :

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

Wiz Khalifa called Amber Rose to listen to the song, and she was in tears and the couple is working on their marriage again for the sake of their kid, Sebastian.