A lot of failed marriages have been happening recently because of the many mistakes of the way people are getting married recently, and one of those ways is Spouse recommendations by parents. Our parents do know best, no doubt about that, and a lot of their knowledge has brought us all to our adulthood, and we live by their code, but when you are more than 25 years of age, and possibly know left from right or blue from blue-black, then i guess you should be able to make the decisions about who you are going to spend your life with.
In the 90s, our grandparents had helped our parents to meet, they introduced them to themselves, and after 1+1, you were one of their results, and even till date, our parents are still together, and still believe in true love, it works for them, but does that mean it will work for you in the time and age? 70% NO, and if you are lucky, you get 30% and by good statistics that is not a good result.
When you are getting to your marriage age, 23 for girls if you done with your first degree, and probably 25years for boys, this is when your parents will want to know what is the next thing, if you sound not so sure about your next step, you will get a hint like "Have you seen Camella? she is looking good nowadays, you should hang out"
This is the yellow light for "Get Ready For Marriage". Either you go or not, your parents will soon start letting you know why you should get married, and also why you should marry the lady they talked about to you. If you tell them you have a girlfriend, and they don't know her, they might wave her off, and let you know the girl they recommended (Camella) is the right girl for you.
A lot of girls have fallen into the "spouse recommendations by parents" and a lot of them, I had came across are now a single mom. They will break-up with a dude they had spent more than 2 years knowing, only to be with a guy they meet in less than a week, and the other week, they are talking about getting married/Marriage. I also noticed that all these ladies say the same thing, and the phrase they all come up with is, "I want to make my family happy" that is a good phrase, but what happens to you been happy? This is not advising you to form a rebel against your parents, but for the first time, your parents might need education on the current trend of what is happening in the outside world.
It is the 2000s where girls go to school with their school uniform and party clothes, it is a year boys/girls will use Young thug and Miley Cyrus as role models, and when everyday is like a vacation from school, most of their parents have no idea, because when they are back at home, they turn to the saints their parents want to see, that is the same saints your papa and mama are seeing and will recommend such person to you for marriage.
Never marry for any other reasons if it is not true love/happiness, any other reasons will soon fade out, and you might be single again either for the rest of your life or for another long time. Don't get married to a man or a woman because your parents wants a relationship with the in-law to boost their businesses, that is your parent's selfish desire, don't buy into it. When it comes to getting married, for the first time in your entire life, your happiness comes first.
Are Spouse Recommendations By Parents always wrong? No, because some of us are often faced with the problem of finding the right spouse in life, maybe we busy, or we just keep falling into the wrong person and years are going past us, then our parents will come forward and introduce a nice guy/girl for you, someone they probably have given their own little quiz/exams while you were not there, and your parents had finalized she is the right person and will recommend to you. In a situation like this, the best thing to do is just play along, meet whoever you have been asked to meet, since you have been failing yourself anyway, this might work out, because now, the lady in question don't want to disappoint your folks, and trust me on this one, your parents won't pick just anybody for you, they probably have done a lot of "James Bond 007" type of investigations you don't know about.
The best thing to do is even when you get the girl with this format, it is still a good thing to get closer and get to know her, and confirm that she fits to most of your good side and you can live with what you got at the moment. Because she is coming from your parents does not give her an automatic visa to marriage with you, both of you should be satisfied with one another, and go for it.
So, to finalise the whole write-up, i hope you understand both sides of the coin in this situation, don't drop your boyfriend/girlfriend because you want to make your parents happy and expand their business. You must know that the lady you marry now is the final touches to the final design of the future you had always wanted, what colour would you want it to be? Do you want it to be all covered in dirts? or well done with amazing colours and add new features?. The ball is in your court, and i wish you good luck
Post your commens below for questions or addition to this topic.
Liam Andrew for Doy News