#NigeriansAreCriminals: A Mockumentary Of A Young Nigerian Abroad

Yes, you read that hashtag right, Nigerians are damn criminals, I don't care about being a patriot or cover up lies. Nigerians are the worst criminal abroad and it is hard for both UK/Americans to offer help, and the Nigerian passport is the next thing to worthless.

This is coming days after President Muhammadu Buhari interview with the telegraph, and he said;

Some Nigerians claim is that life is too difficult back home, but they have also made it difficult for Europeans and Americans to accept them because of the number of Nigerians in prisons all over the world accused of drug trafficking or human trafficking.


 Caption: These are the Nigerians abroad role model. They let us know that it is great to be "hard working" and we good at it. I added my image, but the editor asked i remove it that i am not up to the standard of these people. I took her $50.

Ben Murray Bruce, a Nigerian senator and media mogul, took to Twitter and lashed out on the president comment with his own hashtag, #NigeriansAreNotCriminals, and said Nigerians are hard working people, and that his followers who agree they are not criminals should follow his bandwagon to retweet they are not criminals. Nigerians who know nothing like what the president had said, jumped on his bandwagon to write about how they are not criminals and work hard to earn their living. The hashtag in few hours was trending as number one in Nigeria.

I read some of these comments and just laugh about it. Ben Murray Bruce finally shows me he is a politician, not that I have my doubt before, but this is a nail in the coffin for me. I have no hate for him, but he seems to be a twitter finger, more than a motion writing senator recently.

So I have decided to write a mockumentary of Nigerians that have no idea of what President Buhari told Telegraph, and why Nigerians are labeled criminals. 

No Country Really Wants Nigerians: The current situation most Nigerians abroad are facing now is a mixture of racism and hatred. Nigerians are the African-American in any country they live, you can either take it or take it, no other options.

Most Nigerians or people in Nigerian government don't know what Nigerians are facing abroad, because the situation is like the decline of Naira in Nigeria. CBN said it is 198 Naira to 1 dollar, but Nigerian banks are selling for 305 Naira to 1 dollar. The media in Nigeria is not reporting it, the foreign media have no idea about it, even most Nigerians don't know until they come in close contact or need of the dollar.

So the hatred of Nigerians is exactly like the above scenario, the countries Nigerians are staying won't deport Nigerians or will only report few of the their crimes on TV, unless it is a death sentence. So Nigerians or Nigerian government believes it is a bed of roses, meanwhile it is a bed of thorns.

Asking all Nigerians to leave the country will be going against some law countries in the past had signed, bringing unity among nations, hence the embassies. But ask how most Nigerians obtain visas, that is when you know that it is not rice and beans.

I recently read a news on some Nigerians that got busted on Jan 1. One of the suspects, a Nigerian never had visa of that country for a good 9 years. He had come to play football, and since he was not selected, he decided to stay here, hoping for a better chance going forward. So for 9 years, no Visa.

Don't ask the celebrities, instead ask the normal Nigerians traveling around. Whenever they gets to the immigration officials, a new law is immediately announced just for that Nigerian. He will be grilled with questions, even with a visa on his passport. 

If he fails any of the questions, it is a victory for the immigration officials, as they will send him back to Nigeria. This sometimes is racism, but Nigerians or like i always say, his ancestor(brothers) had fuelled racism in that country, and they will take it out on some new Nigerians coming into the country. Do you blame them?

Nigerians Never Add Economic Values To Any Country: Nigerians are not the only one with issues abroad, a lot of other Nationalities comes into the country and some of them are into skimming, child pornography or mostly paedophiles. A Russian woman was once paid $10,000 in a bank by mistake, and she left the country, talk about God giving you bread, butter and cheese, and later some rib steakLaughing.

What anger most host countries is that, Nigerians are always making their presence known in the country only by having their embassy in that country. After that, the staff in that embassy are useless even to Nigerians they had come to support, so how will they create any sensible thing in that same country.

Nigeria is only the lion of Africa on paper, and football, thanks to Nwankwo Kanu and Okocha. People be like:

Host country: Are you Nigerian?

Me: Yes

Host country: Ohh you know Kanu and Okocha

Me: Yes, Do you know Mikel Obi in Chelsea too (feeling cocky)

Host country: Yes, very good players.

That is all you will ever hear....

Nigerians in other country add no economic values, and countries have known this fact that most Nigerians in their country are there for economic gains only. They had travelled for greener pasture, afterall their government failed them. 

Other countries that are not even the "cats" of their continents have added one value or two, either by sending consultants that can develop other countries or send aid in form of Billions, but our own billions of USD are with the Abacha's, and now Madueke's and Saraki's. They are hoarding our money, sometimes i felt like they are the reason for increase in dollars, because they hoard these in their bullion vans inside a pit in their homes, before you start doubting me, ask Tafa Balogun.

You travel around, and you see awesome buildings, and you see this was built by the US government in connection with the bla bla bla government, or you see new ultra-modern hospitals or equipment donated by the Dutch or German government.

Heck, these people even goes to inner counties or province, and sometimes provide running water or bridges that connect the town to cities to aid farmers or their people. These are developmental projects that create solid friendship.

But instead of Nigerian government to do same, the only thing the president is doing is how he can get countries to handover corrupt politicians back to the Nigerian government, Smile, all of us are thieves, both the government and the people. When the government arrest you, then you are the criminal, example like Dasuki, Olisa Metuh, Ibori, Alamieyesigha and the rest.

Who could have expected Dasuki, that short man to distribute $2.1 billion to his other conspirators. I never believed such a short man can use a pen to destroy the country's economy. We add no values to countries at all.

I remember a country that won't give visas to Americans more than 3-months. Americans in that country complained about the new immigration law to their ambassador. The ambassador did not have any meeting, he just wrote a letter for the law to be reverted for Americans, and any Americans working should have at least 1 year, and not 3 months.

The ambassador not only wrote a letter, he gave a 3 months ultimatum for such law to be reverted for Americans. When Americans ask him after the letter, he was at a bar, and said they are working on it (Cocky ambassador, even having beer).

Few weeks after that letter, the law was reverted for Americans, and I was jaw dropped. Nigeria embassies are always useless anywhere you have them. The crew at the embassy are there to make business for themselves, and the ladies will gossip all day. The only time they work is during the christmas season, they organise Nigerians together for party, and that is it till the next Christmas.

Who needs a country that has no value, but only come to milk them out of their own developing economy.

Nigerians Are Notorious Criminals: Even Nigerians abroad don't want to talk to themselves, because they always believe the next guy is a drug pusher. Buhari was wrong when he said Nigerians are criminals, heck,  he should have added notorious to the word. 

Stop deceiving yourself, who cares about political correctness. The whole world knows it, Buhari is just reminding us of what we know before. You mean the UK does not know you are criminals? Laughing

Nigerians push drugs (go to USA, UK, And Asian countries, especially Thailand, Malaysia and Vietnam), Nigerians are scammers (Ask USA, UK, European countries and Asian countries too), Nigerians ladies are mostly into prostitution (Ask Italy and other European countries)

Nigerians are always in the news for the wrong reasons. All the prison in the world has got a Nigerian there that was arrested for drug trafficking, they will bring drugs from Nigeria or Brazil and smuggle it to different countries.


                 A picture of 2 Nigerian men in Thailand working with the police on how they can build new roads and bridges...He is not a criminal

Nigerians abroad are synonymous with drugs, and that is why most of them find it hard to get good relationship, because you don't know who is who. Nigerians will have like 100 people in a country. 20 will be doing fine in their different field. 30 had come into the country to play football, but nobody will sign them, and because they are not skillful and not knowing what next they can do, they turn liability, others will turn to gigolo or gay guys, because aside from football, Africans, or mostly Nigerians are known for long and thick John Thomas, so they use that for leverage, its all hustling.Tongue Out

The 30 in the country will soon join the 50, and since the 20 are doing their best, it never shows, because another Nigerian will be arrested in 2 weeks for pushing drugs again, and then you lose the little reputation you had acquired, a case of stereotyping starts, and you feel people are racists, maybe they are not, maybe your kinsmen are the one with issues.

No Visa Waiver Program: An African lion, but we have no visa waiver in any country aside from Ecowas, even South Africa still make it difficult to get their Visa, and the law in obtaining visa for Nigerians is very difficult in every part of the world, and sometimes you might need to fast and pray, because the guy at the immigration desk might decide he is not giving you for his own personal reasons, and you can't do anything.

While a lot of countries continue to have visa waiver for different countries few times of the year to allow people comes into the country for 15-days or three months, Nigeria is never looked into. few countries that had allowed Nigerians come in for a few days in the past, stopped it within a year. That is suicide mate.


     A look at one of the ID card Nigerians abroad use, though you think it is a passport, Mali Passport is more relevant Wink

Maldives was the last country to try it, just last year and the news spread like wildfire, then a Nigeria travelled to that country, just one Nigerian. The law is now revised, and you have to get a visa before you could get in. Dude ruined my upcoming holiday...

Even Qatar, to renew your visas in Qatar, you can give it to the receptionist at the hotel, and she will help you take it to the immigration to be renewed, That was before Nigerians started trooping into the country,Now,  when you take your passport to the even an agent, they all say No, too difficult, and Nigerians have to use other back channels to get a visa renewal.

Look at Malaysia. Nigerians complained of maltreatment, they never explained to you what their brothers have done. They almost drag Malaysia name to the mud with their different scam related activities, since the Caucasian won't send money to Nigeria anymore, or chat with them if they are in Nigeria, they turn Malaysia to their new abode, and turn it to scammers den. 

Now they are maltreated, have difficulties in obtaining visas, but a lot of you have no idea, you only hear : Taju Malay, the king of Malay, That of Malay, this of Malay with their own acclaimed title.

How can Malaysians government or the people respect or adore you when you add no value to their community, and instead will spoil their names.

If you still don't understand all these points, ask yourself

Why Can't Nigerians use Paypal? If any organisation is coming to Africa, they should target Nigeria as a base, but instead, Nope. They prefer South Africa or other African countries with less corrupt practices. Why is Nigeria always removed from dating sites, or even sometimes IP are blocked from the website.


                             When website see a user from Nigeria, they be likeLaughing

Even when Nigerians are arrested abroad for various crimes, the embassies find it difficult to help them, because it is like a daughter you have that always go out to find trouble and wants you to bail her out, at a point, you tired and just be like "live and let live, i cannot come here and die just for you"

Nigerians in Nigeria are hardworking people, great...That is good to hear, even the likes of Saraki, Dasuki, Olisa Metuh and Madueke did a good job, because they are yet to be convicted and are still denying that they are corrupt, it is not easy to fool 150 million people, that is hardwork right there, but don't be fooled into believing Nigerians are not criminals abroad, they are notorious criminals. You can either take it or take it. No other options.


NB: The picture of the military man in the above is the property of the writer of this article, and the opinion you just read. The last time a Nigerian man said a cadet is beautiful, the military almost killed him. So you know who to go for....

Thanks for reading