You Know You Are A Nigerian Jokes(NEW) (Laugh Saturday)

A lot of things happen way back in Nigeria that were so serious back then, so when you think about it, you ended up laughing so hard. The funny thing is that they all happened to the same people, more like a culture, tradition or a geek will say Synchronization.. 

You Know You Are A Nigerian If

1. If the only time you eat rice is Sunday Afternoon..
2. All the toothpaste brand are Macleans
3. ​All noodles are Indomie and all pasta brand are Spaghetti
4. If you hear people names like it is the day of the week : Brother Sunday, Brother Monday, Brother Tuesday, Brother Friday.
5. You expect visitors to give you money before leaving the house, the ones that did not give are stingy
6. You must understand the leg movement of your mother if she did not talk and also look her eyes to do something.
7. You get slapped for giving your parents/elders anything with the left hand.
8. Your parents are always the students with first or second position in the class.
9. If you must kneel down as a lady or prostrate as man to greet your parents
10. All canned sardine are geisha or Titus
11. You think Oshodi-oke(Tea in a nylon) is more better and nutritious than the Milo drink
12. When you know you are done the moment you talk back to your parents
13. You had to name a path that allows you run away during school hours "Jungle"
14. If all your teachers have a funny name according to their shape or simple deformity
15. If your friends think not been able to cook won't allow you marriage
16. If going naked in the rain is a normal thing
17. Having a tattoo means you are a tout, thug or lack manners
18. You never get what you want, you only get what you need at when it is needed
19. If a new school year must start with new shoe, New maths set and new uniform.
20. If Cabin biscuit is a norm at your birthday party.
21. If your parents compare your life to that of your friends.
22. If you ever have the thought of beating your parents (Sometimes your parent see through you and you are dead :D)
23. If you ever fart in the presence of your friend with the excuse of "God did not create a special room to fart"
24. If you ever wooed a lady with " Ditto, You are the cockroach in my compound, The sugar in my Garri"
25. If you ever lied to your friend you are on the way to his place while still watching a movie
26. If you ever listened or narrate a full movie scene by scene
27. If you ever see someone with a name favour but they look like a complete failure.
28. When you hear names like Mercy, flavour, grace, charity and more.
29. If you ever remove the eyelashes and put in your father shoes or at the door entrance so that he will forget your offence. (Never worked for me)
30. If you studied Yoruba language but you are sure you can work at the bank.
31. If the oldest must share the fish/meat and must also get the biggest chunk. (The youngest picks last)
32. If a distance relationship stays abroad and he/she automatically turns your aunty or uncle.
33. If you ever shout UP Nepa and be like "Oloribuku ni awon Nepa yii sha" when the light is off again
34. You love seeing rams fight in your neighbourhood and give them names like "Teacher, Oganla, daddy, Champion,Obinna"
35. You dont throw gift wrappers away, so you can use them again.
36. You spit on the envelope to seal it up where there is no gum
37. You have a place call "Store" with irrelevant things
38. You have to call the street elders to come apologise to your parents when you wrong them.
39. You know you are in trouble when you hear your parents shake their heads like 5-7 times when you are doing something...Run, i repeat Run
40. You are over excited to see your family member on TV or over excited to see yourself on TV
41. Surprised when you see a place you know so well on a movie. You be like, Haaa..That is Molete Roundabout, Oh my gate, this is the catholic church in Ikoyi.
42. If the word insurance is a new word to you abroad. We don't insure in Nigeria, because what you will eat tomorrow is still in doubt.
43. You put kerosene to help with blood clothing
44. If you ever see a movie from a window of someone else. 
45. If your netflix of Hulu is a video centre near your house, You pay #30 per movie and return after 2 days.
46. If you believe a cat is a witch and a dog can be used o harm your family too.
47. If anybody wearing a bikini is a prostitute (well until 2001)
48. If all the stew your mother cooks are perfect, your complain will cost you your next meal. Only your father will complain and not when you are looking.
49. If you must buy the long sliced bread when going for a long journey. 
50. If you listened to Obesere, Pasuma or other Fuju Musicians. You are a thug or a bus conductor. But it is very Ok to listen to Michael Jackson, R.Kelly, Tupac or Biggie Small
51. When your parents call your full name 3 times : Chukwuemeba Obasi Emeka ....Run, I repeat Run OOOOOO

So What Makes You A Nigerian?? You are Nigerian If???