Dating advice

These questions are often asked about who should pay on the first date, the lady or the man, and while I don't intend to give a straight answer on the topic, I will share different point of views to answer this question, and hopefully at the end of the whole epistle, you make your decision.

If you noticed the title of the article, it says "The Lady Or The Man," and not the boy or the girl. To be able to put this into perspective, I believe going out on a date is a privilege for two strangers to come around and get to know each other, it is an opportunity for both sides.


This is a meeting that could re-define a future for either for the two minds, but when the time is up, and the bill is shown, who should bring out their wallet?

In my "opinion", I will say the Man, You can spin it all you want, but as a man, if you go out with a girl, and you want to share the bill of $10-$50 with a lady, then you might still need to work harder, and not looking  to get a date.

I am not judgmental right now, before going out on a date, as a smart man, check how much money is with you, be ready or make sure you have arranged or know a spot that will align with your budget, and don't go to any high end that will make you whine after the date, don't swerve, stay in your lane..

The next question is who are you going out with? 

Let me be clear, you will end up with losses if your mission is to please your new girlfriend, because for the rest of the relationship, you will be fighting to keep the standard you had raised for yourself on the first date. Some girls are also out there just to embarrass you, they are the girls that will bring a friend or two on a first date.

So before you step out of the room, make sure you know exactly who you are going to meet, and be sure you are the one picking the spot you going, unless the one she had chose is great or save on your first date. 

I have seen boys splitting the bill of $6 with their date, why I won't judge them, I think it is a bad move. The girl will show you how great of a date it is, but no way in you will be getting a second date, as she will remain busy for as long as you keep calling.

The Ladies

While the dude is willing to pay, to stay classy or look responsible on the first date, always try to show gesture towards paying the bills. 

I went out with a girl thrice, the first time, She chooses a high end restaurant, also this is a very awesome lady, or so I thought. We ended up in a restaurant, and while I had ordered something of $14, she ordered something of $28.

I was happy to pay, but the problem I noticed was while we were talking, and the waitress brought the bill, and for some reasons gave it to her, she just collected the bill, and passed it straight at me, she did not even try to see what was in the bill, she just handed it over to me.

I was a little surprised while she would do such. Then on the second date, I believed the previous one was a mistake, as usual, she ordered more food than myself, and when the bill was shown to her, she told the waitress to hand it over to me.

On the third date, It was 8am, I was on my bed when my phone rang,

Me: Hello, how are you lady

Girl: Fine, what are you doing?

Me: Just laying on bed, and watching the fan rotates.

Girl: Can I invite you for drinks, would be great to meet.

Me: (feeling happy) YeaH, sure, send me your address.

I went there on her invitation, she was having her drinks. Ordered mine, and was all good, few minutes after, the waitress brought the bill, and she pointed at me once more, this is just after 15mins after I arrived at the coffee spot.

This is when it dawns on me that this girl might just have called me to come sort out her bill, early Sunday morning. Oh Lord..... That was our last meeting....Never chatted or talk again.

The reason for the short story is that guys feel used when you act like you don't care. It is not anybody's right to pay for the food you eat, or the drinks you had. 

A dude trying to man up, and pay for your drinks is only trying to be polite, the last thing you want to do is show disrespect. It is a good idea to show gesture, bring out your purse, if you have cash, bring it out, show that you want to pay. A great guy will decline.

Sometimes, try to fight it out a little, offer to share the payment with your date. Don't just sit down like a log of wood like its a norm for someone to pay for you.

Girls Bad Move/Men Response

Some girls can be funny sometimes, because when you invite them for a date, they bring their friends. 

Girls like this needs a tutorial, or a dictionary to find the meaning of the word "Dating"

I was recently asked what I would do if a girl bring a friend or two to the dating scene, and once again in my personal opinion, this is not a date, but a meet-up. If it is the first meeting, and she brings somebody to the meet-up, and she sits down with her, order her food.

We will all contribute, I will bring my wallet, see what I ordered, and request they do the same. I have done this before, and won't hesitate to do it again. 


When you decide to go on a date with someone, as a man, please don't expect sex or anything in return. If at all your mission is sex, at least keep that thought away on the first date. Go on a date to know your partner first.

The only reason you would be mad, angry and complain about a date is if you had high expectations, which you shouldn't.


The question of who should pay on date will remain a debatable subject for a long time, but I believe dating should go along with the context, the perspectives and personality of whoever you plan to go on a date with. 

Be a gentleman, and pay on first dates, but if she makes no gestuere to pay, you might want to think twice about a second meeting.

Girls, if a dude ask that you share the bill, two things are involved.

1. He is not well broght up by mama

2. You did not impress him on the date, and he feels you wasted his time.

3. You came with your army of friends.


Relationship they say takes time to grow between 2 people, but after a date or meeting, some ladies are surprised why their dates never checked back on them again, and probably don't know what went wrong. Some ladies are still single, and still don't know why.

In this article, we write on singles dating tips for ladies that would help them in their next date/relationship, and maybe help ladies get married soon. According to 2 relationship experts, Laura Yates and Genevieve Zawada, some of these mistakes can be rectified.


Read the summary of Dating Tips That Could Help Your Relationship :

Being Over-Jealous: One of the reason men won't be staying with you for long is because of your insecurities, it is human to be jealous, not able to control your jealousy tells the man you are lacking inner confidence, and the truth is, most men love women who have self-confidence, and secure in themselves.

When he plans to go out with the boys, let him have a boy's night out, and don't show too much you jealous.

Read : Online Dating : Does it ever work?

Too Many Texts: While there are lots of free text messages apps that, would you let you send free SMS for little or no cost, it will be ideal if you keep the rate of text messages to yourself. I have personally heard a lot of girls feeling worried over their boyfriend not replying a text message they send during working hours, because they believe he should be able to spare some personal time in replying to them.

The truth is, unlike the ladies, most men are not good with sending SMS, and sending too many text messages, it shows a sense of neediness, and you have too much time on your hands. So keep the text messages short and send only when important.

Gossiping About Your Friends: Telling your man about your friends is ok, but saying bad things about them, might soon cause you the relationship. when you speak ill of your friends, it conveys insecurity, and might start sending wrong signal to your man.

You can't be the angel within your circle of friends. Remember the saying " Birds of the same feather, flies together.

 Read : 7 Reasons You Should Marry A Vietnamese Lady

The Drama Queen: Unless you are an actress, nobody likes a drama queen that reacts over sensitive all the time, it pisses men off, when there is something you could both talk together while having lunch, you have already turn away the lunch table and everybody looking at you are now with their camera phone.

Don't create drama for no reason, know when to be a "Solange" and also know when to be a Beyonce .... (You see what i did there, Tongue Out)


No Pressure : The truth is a lot of men that are dating knows that one day, they will get married and have their own family, even though the society says that women don't have time on their hands, that's ok, but don't try to pressure your man into marriage commitment so fast. Let it happen naturally. If you are the good one, he will personally make it happen, and before you say it, is friends are already doing it for you, like i said, if you are the "Best One", don't get it twisted.

If you are putting pressure on him, most men will run away so far, you will think they are being pursued by lions. Before you even pressure your man, what is your plan, what are you bring to the table?

Being Too Bossy:Trying to call his every move, what he wears, how much he spends in a month, who he should talk to, and who he should ignore, if he should use Newegg and not Walmart, how he must stand and not bend.

Well, Ms Bossy, you are about to be single, before you blink, trust me. Don't be their manager, because the truth is you can't change men in few days, and don't try changing them at all.

If you feel you need to change a man to your own personal taste, the truth is, you are with the wrong man.

 Read : 6 Major Reasons Couples Divorce

Expecting The Man To Pay For Everything : I have said this before in one of my articles, letting a man pay for everything you will both enjoy makes you look like a cheap bastardSealed. If you are going on a date, try offering to pay, but of course, he will pay, trying to pay make him feel you not cheap. Offer to share the bills sometimes, don't try to see if he is rich after you have been together for 6 months.. 

Don't let him feel you are only good for his money.

You Method Of Reasoning : Most men love when they are with a lady that can contribute meaningful thoughts to a relationship. When your man sees that you always talk dumb, and not bring intelligent thought to the table, he sidelines you from better convo, because he is sure you are going to bring in "Baby ideas"

Think like a woman, don't rely on your beauty, men with dreams, don't look at looks, they will drop you, and get someone of their league.

Baby Voice: Ladies think they are sexy, the truth is, it makes most men uncomfortable. You are a grown woman, talk like it, and even when you want to do it, maybe one in 6 months. Don't make it an habit. It is irritating.